Loving Life

Listening to God

2011-09-17T17:07:00.000-04:00

Well, it has been a while since I posted anything in this place. Today is a beautiful day and I thought it would be great day to share my experiences with people and God. Last week I was asked by a very special lady to speak at their luncheon in front of some very pretty and smart ladies. During the week I was trying to come up with the topic and I really could not come up with something. I was asking God to please give me something to talk about and of course God did not give me anything right away.
Today, was the day to share with the ladies and in the morning, I had no idea what I was going to talk about and I figure the Holy Spirit would take care of it.
I was so excited that I had the opportunity to share with the Seniors. They are such a group of inspiring women. Today it was so inspiring what God had to share. We started talking about the way God communicates with us and talks to us through music, notes, etc. We had a special exercise that required us to sit in quiet time and listen to God and write, draw or just do something God had hinted you to share. We collected them, shuffled them and passed them out again. Amazingly no one got their own note, but all the notes were sweet and inspiring. I hope they meant something special for the people that received them.
As we closed in prayer. God really touched my heart and inspired me to pray for healing, and for grief. I stand and believe God has performed another miracle today. But after all this talk and a very inspiring poem Vivian, one of the lovely ladies, wrote. I felt inspired to write something myself.
Going with the poem theme...this is what I wrote:

JUST FOR YOU!

This special note is just for you
because God told me
He misses you.

He says He loves you
no matter what
His grace is bigger
than all of that

Time is precious
don't waste time
Grace is yours
at no prize.

He gives us grace
He gives us love
He also gave us
His only son

Today is the day
to start over
to work in your love
for one another

God is saying,
"Give me all of you
and I will show you
who you will be."

I hope this few words will help someone out there! Thanks for reading and looking at my blog. Love you all!

Just another day...

2011-02-07T21:12:00.004-05:00

Today was a kind of day you wish you could go back to bed and start over. Nothing in particular happened, it was not a bad day at work or bad emotional day but just the weather and the way i totally fill was kind of blah.
As I seat on my bed and think about my day, I think how wonderful my life is and the many blessings I have. Then again why is it that no matter what we have or feel, sometimes we just feel like we do not have what we need. Don't get me wrong, 99% of the time I feel pretty good about my life but today I am feeling like I am missing a big clue, an answer, a connection...I don't know but I guess is time to sit quietly in a corner and let God just inspire me, talk to me. Let the receiving begin! I just love the fact that He loves me no matter what and I can count on Him to be there for me.

Favorite Place!

2010-09-10T16:47:00.002-04:00

Have you ever been somewhere that you loose track of time? You enjoy the place so much that 2 or 3 hours seem like minutes? Where you get lost into another world that makes you happy? Some people feel this way about their home, or a park, some others at friend's houses but for me is this little coffee bar in Glenway Avenue called Refuge. Yes, Refuge! I feel so at home there. I can spend the day hanging out or even working on stuff and my day seems to fly by. I almost feel refueled when I leave.

Refuge Coffee Bar was an idea placed in someone's heart and mind few years ago. It was someone's dream and today is a great reality. God is so amazing, how he gives us dreams and then gives us the tools for us to build those dreams. Sometimes they are not easy instructions or tools to use or put together those dreams together but God does gives us the gifts and talents for those dreams to get accomplished. We doubt that God himself gave us the power to accomplish anything on His name but we need to believe it. Anyway.... over two years ago the project of Refuge got started. Much sweat and tears have been shed for this place to be up and running. I am glad the people working on this project never gave up and persevere to get this project done. What a blessing for this neighborhood and for our community. You don't only get a great cup of coffee but you get a place which is peaceful when you enter the building. The decor ts awesome and peaceful, the staff is amazing and the atmosphere is heavenly. People come to work, to study and even to relax from a day's work. I pray for this place everyday and I thank God that it gave me a place where I can clear my head and connect with God. For me, this is the place where I can share stories or just listen to others share. My day does not seem as long or hard when I come in. But if I am having a bad day, this is the place I want to come in and forget about what happened and move forward to what God has for me. I love to help behind the bar and just serve people and listen to them tell me stories of their days.
Don't get me wrong I like walks in the park, quiet time with my husband and nice clear fall nights but this place is awesome! Is there a place for you or an activity that takes you in that joyous place? Where you don't want to leave and just stay all day? Will love to hear and maybe visit! Tell me all about it!

Direction...Where do I go?

2010-06-24T01:01:00.003-04:00

God has such great plans for me, people say. Really? Can someone show me where? I am a little lost or am I really? Maybe I just need to be here right now. I wish I could text him or call him and have a little heart to heart. I want to know exactly what He wants me to do so I can accomplish my plans. Wish it would work that way, but it does not. I feel I have to talked to God many times and many times I said that He did not listen, which is a lie from...you know who. God is always listening but we whine a lot.

I decided to take time to listen to God. I decided that when I asked Him a question to give Him time to answer before I ramble on. That if , Iam really looking for His answer not to be surprised I have heard it before or is something I really don't want or am ready to hear. I believe a lot of our days we focus on what I need to accomplish and not what God has on my agenda for me today. I hope that when I am done listening, I can follow and be one with Him.

Questions from my random thoughts...

2010-06-16T23:03:00.006-04:00

Have you ever had random thoughts in your head that you wonder where they came from? I have been having some of those this week. Feeling a little overwhelmed and almost confused, can anyone relate? There is so much to do and somehow I find time to waste and not get things done. Then, there is so much going on with rough weather, natural disasters, men made disasters, and so much more we are not aware of that I am just trying to be here and understand. I live life one day at a time and do the best I can each and everyday, but somedays... I feel like I fail at just trying to do something. I know that the best thing God made was another day but sometimes when I am feeling like the worst day ever, the last thing I want is to start over. I thank God it does happen because it gives me a chance to have a better day. Sometimes it is a battle to just finish the day.
I believe to be a pretty positive person and find positive things even in not such good situations. For the past few weeks, I have been feeling like my positivity is almost a negative to other people because they don't even want hear the positive, they just want to dwell on their "problem" or their situation. I understand sometimes all we need to do is listen but even smiling or acknowledging seems to be putting them off. I totally understand but it makes me feel that I really don't have understanding to their situation or makes me unrelatable to their problem. I feel like I cannot help or relate.
I can only say I am very blessed to have my sensitivity, experiences, my issues but sometimes feel that because I have had a "good" life that others don't feel like I can listen, help or understand. Maybe is crap that the "dirtball" its putting on my head but this is how I feel at times. I want to think that I am grateful to God for what he has given me. I hope I never turn my back to what He has taught, shown, given me. So by questioning my "positive" outlook in life, Am I turning my back on the gift that God has given me? Am I not understanding what I need to do?

I have written about a friend that has struggled before with issues he cannot control. This is his third battle with cancer and just as he did before he is fighting it. The doctors, of course, gave him all the information they believe to be important. Including that if medication does not work he only has 6 months but if it works 5 years. Ok, how the h*** do they know? What do they know about God's plan? and at the same time how do I tell someone that has been diagnosed that they are "loved" by me and God? Especially, when I cannot explain why it is happening again. How do I stay positive? I know the truth, I know where I am going to be? but it is still a hard news to hear. Yeah, I have experienced a family member battling cancer. (my father) How do you keep a positive outlook? Well, my friend John does. Yeah, the news are not what he wanted to hear but he is handling it as best as he can. His family ( wife and three beautiful daughters) are struggling. I hope that I can be there for them too. I believe that he has taught me more than he really knows. He has "loved" on me even when I did not believed and love on myself. He is a man with a big heart that has positive words and encouragement for everyone and it makes you feel like you are on top of the world. Thank you John! for showing me that God loves us. Thank you for reminding me that no matter what, we can be the support and encouragement for someone else with just our presence and love. God died for us so we can just live and love for Him.
I will keep one thought in mind, even when I do not have the right words to say or understand what is happening or how they are feeling, I do have the love that God gave me to share with them and I can still offer my support and encouragement. In turn, I will show my love for them and God's love through me. Right? Is this why He made me this way?

I love snow!

2010-02-10T00:04:00.003-05:00

There is something peaceful about snow. The cool quiet white surroundings give me such a sense of peace. I feel like in God's presence everytime I stand and look around when the snow has not been removed yet from the street or the cars. Where you can see the way nature blankets all the area. I know it's cold, for those of you who love hot weather, but it really seems to be pure and only God gets to design each flake! What a blessing to be able to see this weather phenomenon. I grew up in a tropical island were snow is non existing. The first time I saw snow I was so excited, now I just feel so connected with God.
In this quiet evening at home, I just want to take time to reflect on how much I have, how blessed I am to have experienced life each and every day and how much more I have to live to be able to share my story the way God wants me to. Don't get me wrong, I am ready for Spring to be here, but during these snowy days I want to enjoy them and realized how wonderful our God is to give us seasons to enjoy!

Why is it so hard?

2010-01-24T23:49:00.003-05:00

In the past week, I have been very sensitive on how I talk, respond and even comment when asked a question. I have felt so sensitive about myself. Although I am not perfect, I think most of the time I feel pretty comfortable with me and the way I am.
In the past year, I have had to learn my "new" job responsabilities and duties. For the prior years before, I was at the top of my game and knew my stuff. Although in the past year I have made trememdous progress, I feel that I am so far behind. I have so much more to learn and feels like I am not catching up.
I have asked others to tell me what I need to do to perform better or what else can I do to "improve"? What do I need to change to be good at...? It all sounds great but when it is addressed and I am told I am not doing something right or this is the way it needs to be done or you need to keep working on that... or whatever it is, I take it to heart. Eventhough, I am trying to be grown up about it, it hurts my feelings. I have busted my tail to do my best and someone else tells me that my best is not good enough or I have to change what I consider my best and it really ticks me off. Why? These "people" are trying to help me. I have asked them to tell me what is wrong? and I still get mad or upset when they tell me. Why?????
Sometimes I feel I'm the only one working towards the goal when in reality I know there is more than me working. Are there things that you do that agravate people and they dont tell you and they don't "correct" you or tell you what your are doing is wrong or incorrect? Why dont we if it bothers us? Why can we discuss it like adults and figure out how we can improve or change it so it is beneficial.
Sorry random thoughts today but it has been bothering me a lot this week. What is really bothering me that I do not have the answer, Is it my ego? Why is the criticism so difficult to take when really it should helpful to make you improve.
I dont know the answers but God will grant them to me. Maybe I need to talk to HIM. :)

Do you like hot or cold weather?

2009-12-27T19:56:00.003-05:00

As I sit here in the 84 degree weather in the beautiful island of Puerto Rico and think of my other family and friends at home in cold winter weather. Which do you feel more comfortable at? Obviously, I like the hot weather but I hate to be sweaty and hot so the heat reminds me on how much I like the cool crisp weather maybe even the beautiful snow. I hate to be cold and sniffly too so the cold weather reminds me how much I like to be warm! But most of all, I really like all the seasons because they make me appreciate how much God has given us. Isn't it wonderful! Which weather do you like best and share why? Would love to know what you think.

Great Love!

2009-12-25T17:05:00.002-05:00

As I have the blessing of celebrating the Christmas holiday with my family in Puerto Rico, I dreamed of the day where no one would have to be on their own or celebrate the joy God gave us by themselves.
For the past few weeks I have been dreaming of being home and celebrating with family, "my" family. I have great in-laws that I get to share most of my day to day life with since they are in the same city I live in. I was given this opportunity during this Christmas. So for me sharing with "my" family has been a special treat and blessing. My niece, who I have not seen since she was two weeks old, is such a big girl and almost two years old. Now that I am here in Puerto Rico, I can only see the blessings I have and how "rich" I am. My God has given me so much. I have so much more than I can even dreamed of. What about those that do not know how much God has given them, His only son! How about those that don't think they have anything, or anyone that cares for them. During these times we need to reflect and think on how much God has sacrificed for us and how He is always with us. He gave His son so we can have family, friends, things, health, love, support, etc... and even when we don't know we have He is always we us!
So now, I reflect on those that need to know, those that need to be aware of how much God loves them. We are the ones that need to spread the news, give the love and teach others of what God has to offer. But we also need to be aware ourselves on how much we really have even when we cannot see it! Yeah we are all hurting because of the economy, some of us are hurting because we have people who have hurt us, others of us just don't believe or accept the truth in full, but we are all "rich". We are all bless with the love of God and even those that don't know or doubt are loved by God. Then why should not us? Why should we not love unconditionally? even when we don't agree? To love someone just becuase they exists is a hard concept to accept but if God loves you no matter what and gave up his only son for you then we have no excuse. So let's spread God's love and share life with others and love no matter what. Thank God for you, family, friends, health, love and most of all Jesus! One Great Love!!!

Are you happy enough?

2009-12-03T22:45:00.003-05:00

Have you ever been so "happy" or satisfied with life that you wonder if you can get any happier? Don't get me wrong, there is much more than I will love to have physically, emotionally and even spiritually, but I am currently very happy in this stage of my life. God has granted me so many blessings even in the middle of my struggles.
As we talked today in lifegroup about living in the now between the beginning and the end, the key for me is just to live life.

I am so glad to have friends that listen to me, accept me for who I am and love me just where I am. Sometimes I wonder am I deserving of these friendships? Am I this kind of friend? As I analyze my level of happiness and presence in life, I cannot believe how blessed I am and how much God has given me. Am I doing the work for God wants me to do?

During this holiday season, even as I struggle with my own insecurities, I celebrate how much I have. I am such a rich woman but it is hard to see as I struggle to have more to give. Giving makes me happy. Doing for others makes me happy. Spending time with my hubby makes me happy. Why do I feel like I need more when in reality I have it all. God in my life and heart, friends and family that love me no matter what and a desire to give more away. Am I ever going to be any happier? or is this it? I know once we are in God's presence we will be the happiest but aren't we always in his presence? Shouldn't we always be the happiest if we have God in our hearts? Why do we struggle? Why do we question? Like I said before, I am a blessed rich woman. Is this the happiest I will ever be?

Micah 6:8

2009-08-19T22:26:00.002-04:00

I really wanted to read this verse and study it. I wanted to know what it really meant to me. I have heard it preached before and mentioned a lot around our church. What does it really mean? What do these words tell me?

The verse goes something like this:
He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Wow! Such simple words and so hard to follow. Act justly? Can we be fair and just. Can we not judge others? Can we give ourselves away without a thought happening through our minds or what we are going to get back? Get yourself ready and prepare for the rest of the world to see.
Love mercy? Can we love unconditionally? Can we love others no matter what their ideas, belief system is or even opinions. Again, can we give ourselves away so that others can see God's light? We need to be the example for others to follow. How can you relate to others if you are not living life. How can God connect you with people in need if you don't put yourself out there.
Walk humbly! This one is hard for me since I want to share everything with everybody without sounding like I am being cocky. I have been very blessed most of my life. Don't get me wrong, I have had my bad times but God has really looked over me and my family. I want to make sure that when I walk in his walk that I am an example or an instrument for him. I wish I could be a humble servant that loves God unconditionally. Can we do that? Somedays we fail to believe this and sometimes we just dont even want to believe it. God show me the way and let me thrive, love unconditinally and serve others.

Busy day ahead!

2009-08-19T10:31:00.004-04:00

Today I decided it was long enough to postpone cleaning my house and doing laundry. For those of you who know me I do not like cleaning my own house. Why ? I don't know. I can go to other people's houses and I am always willing to help clean but not on my own. I am tired of it! My house needs it. Don't get me wrong, I clean but hate every minute of it although I am very happy after I am done since my house smells, and looks clean.

Have I mentioned that I hate laundry too? When I was growing up our laundry room was in the same floor as my bedroom so all I had to do is walk over to the washer and dump my clothes. My mom will always do my laundry. So I have come to the conclusion the reason I hate laundry is because of my mother. Just kidding mom!

Why is it that we postpone things when we know they need to get done? Why do we procrastinate?

I am always looking for an excuse to not do house work. Facebook, blog, tv show, a friend needs me, etc... it is always a reason it doesnt get done but if I was smart I would just do a little bit everyday and it would not be a problem. How come I cannot stick with my plan? How come I just don't do it and then complain about it for the next few days and get upset or even depressed about it. Once again, what is going on in my head? Why can't I just do it and get it over with? Well, this morning I decided I am going to do it. I am going to make a list. ( I am a list maker) Then complete the things that need to be done around my house. After all the hard work I would like to enjoy the fruits of my labor. I wish it was that easy but I am determined to do something today. Anyone wants to join me or take me away? Please!!!...

Another year!

2009-08-19T00:14:00.002-04:00

Wow! Today Tony and I celebrate 19 years of marriage together and I am just amazed on how quickly the time has flown by. Tony and I met 24 years ago during our Xavier years. We started dating in October of 1985 and we have been together ever since. It is amazing to me how many years we have been together and how many more are to come.
We are so blessed God has grant us a great marriage and a lifetime together.

Just wondering!

2009-08-17T12:24:00.003-04:00

Today starts my first official day of vacation, tonight a massage and tomorrow my 19th wedding anniversary, it's a beatiful day outside and I am not excited about any of those at all. Ok maybe excited about the massage. What is going on? I should be jumping for joy and wondering what exciting things are coming next. All I can think of is what I have not done and what needs to get done in the next two weeks I have left before I go back to work. Like a friend of mine says, "Brain, shut up!!"
I had a very busy weekend and now I am trying to rest but I am so tired I cannot even do that. I am hoping to get into the groove at some point today. I think maybe a little quiet time with God might be what is needed. This weekend's message at church of "Peace" has made me really think about what is Peace and do I have it? Do I want it? I think sometimes we create some of the annoyances and distractions arounds us. I think I definitely want Peace and I definitely want to depend 100% in God but is that possible? Can we give it all to Him? I think so but, Am I able to? I feel in some circumstances it is obvious to give everything to GOD and in others we don't even think about God because we are so upset or angry. We don't think about who gives us our peace, calm and happiness. We are just so ticked off or upset at the world or the situation that "God" doesn't even come into our thought. Sad to say since he created us. I guess what I would like to accomplish is that my love for God takes over my head and makes me realize the Peace that God can pour over me if I just trust him, believe him and love him unconditionally.

Right now, I am not upset or angry or sad, I am just wondering what my loving God has in store for me. I can't wait for the calming Peace to just pour all the time where I can just stand around people and the peace just pours to them. Thank God for Peace! Again, just wondering!

Refocusing on God

2009-08-11T00:56:00.004-04:00

I have decided to start blogging again. This blog keeps me connected with God. I feel like when I write I connect with Him. Is like He guides me when I am writing. It is almost as if I had too many thoughts and God rearranges them to come out and actually something worth talking or writing about.

Tonight, I will like to talk about refocusing in God. I have been given an awesome opportunity to have time off from work. As most of you know, I had to have surgery and had 6 inches of my colon removed. Doing fine on that matter. During this time, although I got to spend time praising Him for everything good, that He did for me, I can't help to wonder how much more I could have done to serve Him. We had one of our pastors in our church talk about how much he loves people and how much he loves to serve them. I can totally relate with that. But what impressed me the most is our pastors' talk on changing the word LOVE into the word "SERVE". He was talking about serving others. In the past few weeks, I have felt so useless since I really can lift anything right now, but God always moved me to serve my friends and family and I would find him there. Where can I serve? What can I do to love HIM more through servitude? I figure the first thing was to focus on HIM.

This week is going to be a great week. I have a lot going on with a friend's wedding this weekend. What has come to my head is that before I can start being a "servant", I need to refocus on what God wants your plan to be. Sometimes we go out there and help, help, help, help but that is all you do. If you do not connect with God how are you supposed to "help" the people that need you? I have been connected with God a long time but sometimes my connection weakens when I don't pray enough, read the book enough or just praise him enough. It is almost like when the signal in your cell phone is weak. I need to make sure I recharge every day and that God leads me to where I need to go. Yes I do like to live life and share it with others but I need to know that God is planning my life and I am just enjoying the ride or the journey.

Like my pastor said this weekend, we over use the word love too much and sometimes we forget what it really means. He challenged us to go out there and instead of "loving" people go out there and "serve" people. Take a chance and let God use you as his instrument to be an inspiration to someone else. Just live life! God has a plan and HE will place the people in your path so you can be used. That is why I want to focus on God so that I can be an instrument of HIS love!

Place to belong!

2009-04-09T23:27:00.003-04:00

Today I got the opportunity to step into our church building for our Excavation training. It was like coming home again. Part of me was missing, and when I walked in the door it was like I had a place again. I got to see some of my friends and talked about my past few weeks but receiving the love from others and the "I miss ya!" was all I needed to feel better. As I sat on a table with the Excavation class, I listened to how people discovered their talents and spiritual gifts. Talked about how some talents we do not believe to be us but other were right on. It was like a sense of belonging came over me. I knew where I was and what I needed to be. It got to review my talends and spiritual gifts and it was a confirmation of what I have been doing really was were God wanted me to be right now. I am so glad I am home but most of all I fell this place is were I belong!

Trusting God!

2009-04-08T23:37:00.004-04:00

These past two weeks have been nothing but trusting in what God has for me. Last week we decided to take a short trip to Tennesse to visit family for a few days. We got there on Friday early morning and we were happy of the weekend to come. Friday night was awesome and spent great family time. Saturday started great and midday I had a horrible pain in my lower belly, was sweaty and almost past out from the pain. Not knowing what was going on I decided there is nothing a nap cannot fix. Slept for about two hours and then woke up with a slight pain but tolerable and thought nothing of it. Saturday night I could not sleep and on Sunday morning I was miserable. I told my husband, Tony, that we should go home one day early just in case got sick and then it happened. Pain so intensed I almost passed out. We debated to go to the ER and after some unanimous decision by my husband and sister-in-law we headed that way. We went to Sumner Regional Hopsital in Gallatin, TN. I got taken care right away and admitted after being checked by the doctor. He suggested I take some IV antibiotics instead of oral ones since my infection (Diverticulitis) seemed to be pretty severed and the more antibiotic we could get in my body the better. We figured we would be going home by the next day. Oh Boy!, were we wrong!

To my naiveness, I had just been diagnosed with Diverticulitis and it will be a few days before that infection will go away. I was thinking to myself, I will get all my people to pray for me and I will be healed. I will be home in no time. A week later I am still in a hospital in Tennesse. Talke about having doubt or bad thought but , Right now, I still believe that I am healed. What I know is that I trust God to provide the proper people and the proper treatment for me to follow and understand to become a testimony on how God healed my body to be an example on believing and watching work on me. A few years back, I would have doubted, I would be full of fear and doubt. Today, I can honestly say that I trust God to do what He needs to do. I have prayed for a better way to become healthy and change my lifestyle. Well , here is my lifestyle change and my start to a better health.

Remember that God is trustworthy and although you might doubt when you ask Him, He will respond. Trust in God and even when you don't think He is there, let him know how you feel and that you just need him to know how you feel right then and he will answer. He will embrace you with His love, his grace and his mercifulness. He will put the people you need to hear from and will guide you on what to do next. I am currently still recuperating and trusting God! The best thing is that God has given me a sense of peace that I cannot even explained. Thank
God I can rely on Him!

Feeling the Joy!

2009-03-08T13:37:00.003-04:00

Have you ever felt the joy of just being in the presence of God! Maybe or maybe not? But I am going to tell you that I was so overwhelmingly overcomed by how much He loves me this past Saturday. I had a great Day away with the Alpha class I am participating with a group of great ladies. Prior to the day away this week I was just all excited in the preparation of this great weekend to come. We had Encounter on Wednesday where I saw great things happening, Then Thursday, when my group shared all the answered prayers from the prior weeek. Friday, I had my Reset Group. But Saturday during our day away, we had awesome speakers. Don who teaches us so much about the bible and where to find the answers. Grif who rocked our world with his awesome emotional outpouring of his heart and the one an only Mr. Dave Zuber who shared his experiences with the Holy Spirit and the love he shares with God. What else can I ask for? It was a great Saturday, lets go to Saturday service and conclude a great day, right? Oh no, God had bigger plans for me. I was all happy and excited like I had had 20 cups of coffee. I was still filled with His love that day. Unfortunately, I could not stay for service but I stayed for worship. OMG! He almost knocked me senseless. The music was just what I needed to center everything I was feeling. I was soo overwhelmed that I did not know I could stand any more. I was crying so hard, I had snot coming out and ...well you get the picture. Why was I crying, I had such a wonderful day?, Why was I feeling so overcomed to give it all? Have I not been committed evnough? Well let me tell you that I love my God a lot but after His pouring over me I don't know that I can explain how much I really love Him! It is really beyond what I can explain and share. I hope that everyone at one point could feel what I felt yesterday. It is almost surreal. I thought I was loved but yesterday I really learned how much He loves me. I pray that everyone can feel it and see it and live it. I hope I can express it to others too! God is awesome! His love is overwhelming! Love you guys!

If you could measure love what would you use?

2009-03-05T22:32:00.007-05:00

I want to know if you could measure love with something, What would you use? I happen to love food so I will start there. I know love is unmeasurable, especially God's love but pretend for a few minutes. If you could measure love you...
* would use Peanut M&M's because they are your favorites.
* measure in dog years because it would be times 7.
* measure in how many times you "dance" at worship. (Because I can't sit still)
* meausre with smiles
*how many hugs you give
*count blooming flowers they are
... there are so many more I could write down...

what else would you measure love with? Love is so amazing! What else is amazing in your life? Let God love on you. He really wants to. Love ya guys! Come on tell me, I want to hear.

Reset your life!

2009-03-02T23:46:00.004-05:00

Our church started the Reset journey last week. Although I was excited, I was not ready to reset my life. I thought I was doing ok, I am starting to see where my life is going. I have realized the unconditional love God has for me and then "boom", RESET journey happens. This journey is making us think of assumptions we have about God, faith, believe, grace, Jesus, etc.

Of course what is a journey without a little stirring of the pot. The first prompt or exercise that we were asked to do, just makes you think about what Jesus has asked you to do and give up so you can be His follower. Wow, your own family and yourself? Wow!

I believe that Jesus is the son of God and that He became flesh and died for me because I need it and not deserved it? Did He know what his life was going to be like? He knew what his destiny was going to be? or Did He just had a feeling that the decisions He was making were ok? Sometimes I know I am here for a purpose but am I taking the right steps or am I going on the wrong direction? I just wonder how Jesus knew so early on.

I also know that Jesus loves me and He gave His life for me so why do I feel like I have to prove it to everyone else? Why do I have to explain it to other Christians when they should be feeling the same way I feel? Why do people loose a desire, love, excitement, whatever you want to call it or never get it? Why don't they feel like me? I want to know why other believers of Jesus have to put down, hurt, criticize, other people that are believers and non-believers? We really need to look at the non believers are the y happy? unhappy? Even if they look like they are ok? How do I transfer my love, my faith, my beliefs, my feelings, my experiences, my prior knowledge to someone who doesn't believe or accepts what I believe? I am not trying to convince people but since I know the truth and how it makes me feel why can I just give people a piece of it? I don't want to pound people with all that I am feeling but I wish, even if they did not get it , they would undestand and just accept it. Then again, Am I that open minded? Did I understand the first time someone talked to me about Jesus and God? Really I don't remember because I was taught so young but how do I share it with others that have never believed or known?

I love this RESEt journey because eventhough I think I know , I am really discovering that there is a lot I don't. Am I really able to have the capacity to show God's grace? Do I know who is worthy of God's grace? Jesus is really expecting something from me? All I can say is that I cannot change all at once but a little at a time since I am not sure where I am going just where I am going to be at the end. I am hoping my commitment to Jesus is all I need and that is all I have to perfect. Can I have a commitment for Jesus at all times? Ummmm!

Just talking...

2009-02-26T23:28:00.003-05:00

I am go glad I am going through the whole process of Alpha all over again. I am helping as a facilitator and it has really open my eyes to my relationship with God and how I handle myself. Not only in my relationship with God and others but how I treat myself too.

Last week in Alpha, we talked about how and why we should read the Bible which I have to admit I still struggle with. I don't struggle with believing in the Bible but I have a hard time reading it daily. I have a hard time reading and interpreting at times. This is one of the reasons I love my life group (prayer group) because at times we can discuss readings or even verses and really study them. I read a lot in the Bible and sometimes I need others to really understand what God is really trying to tell me.

Today we finished week 5, we are talking about how to pray. We got to share what we all believed prayer is and what we think is the best way to pray. Why should we pray? Why talk to God when He knows what is going to happen? Does He really answer our prayers? Does praying really matter? Although we have deep questions, God really loved us so much, What is enough amount of praying? What if we forget to pray? What does your praying look like? Today, Ireally learned that it does not matter when, where, what time, etc, God will always hear you and listen to what you have to say.

I was excited today, we get to pray for everyone in our group for the week. God is so wonderful that He does not even wait until we pray and He starts answering requests from our hearts in His time not ours. In our Alpha group, one of gropies request was to have a better week since everything this person had ask for or tried to do just did not seem to work out. As we left tonight, we prayed that we all had a better week and that we could have a positive answer to our prayers for the next week to share. As most of you know, we have a RESET journeys going on in our church and this person had had no success finding a group to join and "reset " with due to her schedule. She had mentioned how disappointed she was but she will catch it the next time. As I got home and joined my friends in Facebook, I discovered a RESET facilitator chatting with me about her group and she totally needed more people in her group. I could connect the person in my Alpha table and this RESET group! OMG! One prayer was already answered and I had not even prayed for the night. God how good are you that you feel our needs before we even ask for them? You are awesome.!! Needless to say, my Alpha buddy is now connecting with a RESET group to check her assumptions. I am excited what else is going to happen after I pray for all these ladies in my group. I can't wait to hear the stories on how they listen for God's words and their prayers were answered.

Once again!

2009-02-18T15:53:00.003-05:00

I don't know why but I have tried so many ways of making a change in the way I eat, I exercise, I control things that are "bad" for me, clean my house, get things done. Once again I start being conscious of what goes in my body and it lasts for a while, I get some results but I feel so good about it that I forget to continue the plan. I forget to watch what I eat, exercise, being conscious of my every move. Why do we do that? Why do we procrastinate? I clean the house spotless and promise not to do it again, promise to unclutter and keep it organize. Two weeks later, something happens and I am totally disgusted from the mess that we have. Why can I keep it clean?, why can I keep the weight off?, Why can I stick to my budget perfectly?, Why do we struggle?
I try so hard to keep it together and most of the time I can but it gets to a point where it is overwhelming and I have to regroup. The regrouping sometimes takes a lot of effort. Then when I take the time to plan and do everything I need to do and regroup and get my plan in action, it overwhelming!
I have not had a day off by myself at home with my mess until today, ( I work many hours a week, help at church and hang out with friends, visit family, etc) I decided I will start with my house and the ability to bring people over so that meant I had to clean. Again, started really well kitchen clean, bathroom clean and then... break... and totally lost my groove. Why? I was doing so good. So now that I am done wirting this blog I guess I will go back and attempt to start over. Wish me luck!

Are you relaxed?

2009-02-15T23:51:00.003-05:00

Have you ever done something that takes you to another place? Gives you the time to forget what you have been doing, makes you relaxed or even destresses you? I got the chance to make lots of flower arrangements at work this week. Flowers are awesome, wih I could grow them. Playing with the flowers, arranging them and making them look pretty, totally relaxes me and when I can make them for someone else it is even better. It makes me happy. Other things I do to relax are cook, play solitaire (although I am started to think it is an addiction), scrapbooking.

How about you? What makes you relax and get away for a bit? Is there something out there that you would like to learn? Everyone does something. Maybe it is a hobbie, a collection, etc. Please write what you do. It might be something that triggers someone else to learn something new. I think for me knitting seems relaxing (for some people), still on my list of things to learn this year. Maybe is worship, maybe is reading a book or maybe is singing karaeoke. It does not matter but remember. Find your groove and share it, I might want to try it! Love you all!

Are you living for God?

2009-02-14T22:47:00.003-05:00

Decided today I was going to ready a bible verse and let it inspire me to write my blog. I have felt so connected with God this week. I had a few days off and in those days I got to reflect a lot about my relationship with God. After looking around the bible and reading a few verses I decided to read 1Peter 4:7-11.

This passage made me think about my responsabilities as a believer. Do I have a clear mind? Am I self controlled? Do I have God's grace? Do I love people enough as to cover their sins, in another words, no matter what people have done or what they carry, am I capabable of loving them unconditionally, just like God loves us? Wow!

Am I using all my gifts and talents to help others? Am I faithfully administering grace? Do I represent the word of God when I speak? If I could only answer yes to all these questions. I search everyday for God to tap me over the shoulder and say, "Good job" or "No, don't do that" but it does not happen all the time, at least not as lound as I want to hear it. I admit that I am not the perfect example of all of the above but I sure reflect on it a lot. It seems when I am good at using my gifts towards others, I forget to have a clear mind or be self controlled. It's like I cannot balanced them all togethet. I really love people, but unconditionally?, that is big. I hope that I do and that I accept them for who they are. This passage really touched me and makes me want to self check the real reasons to serve and love on others. Jesus loved us unconditionally even when he knew we would fail him. I want to be living for God, but am I ready to do that no matter what? My only hope is that Jesus is proud of me every day and that at the end of my journey he welcomes me and tell me, "Welcome home faithful servant".

All I can say is, "... to him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen"

Yes God! I will be the light!

2009-02-12T17:26:00.003-05:00

Today I found out a co-worker and pretty close acquaintance has been diagnosed with cancer again. His first battle happened 6 years ago and he was pretty sure he had finish with that battle. Through a series of routine exams they found a spot in the liver which the doctors seem to think it is leftovers from his cancer in his kidneys. The doctors are running more scans to make sure it is only in his liver, which will be very "easy" to cure if it is.

After I talk to my friend, I told him," you will do great because God has more for you. He has big plans and He is not finished with you yet. You are a man of integrity and your love for people, he needs more of you." My friend said, "thank you, I thought I had this cancer beat but I guess not". I told him how important it is for him to speak positive even when things seem the worst. I told him that when things get rough to remember that God will be carrying him and that he will not be alone. He thank me for my words and said, "we'll see! What do I say? How can I comfort him when I know he has been through it? How can I show him the light of what is to come? I have not been through it? I don't have the answers? Yes... I know what you are thinking. God has the answers, he has the power to cleanse his body and take away everything. I know that, I believe that. How can I convey that message to my friend? How can I tell him that message of hope and healing if he does not believe it? I want to transfer all my faith and believe on to him. I want to give my friend the love that God has share with me. At the same time, I don't want to sound like I am not compassionate, or caring. I was not there for his first encounter with his illness, I don't know what he went through. All I have to offer is my "love", my faith, my time and my prayers so that God will touch his heart and confirms to him how much he is loved and how his body will heal from all this cancer that will disappear because he believed!
So I tell God today, yes! I will be the light on a friend's dark moment because those are the times when God uses us to be him in someones eyes. Thank you Father for making me understand that You love us through others and ourselves. Love you!

Beauty around us

2009-02-11T10:38:00.004-05:00

Have you ever sat outside your porch, backyard or just looked out the window and wonder how everything works together? The beauty of nature that surrounds us and we take for granted. Yeah, winter might not be the most colorful season but look at what we have to look forward to. The trees with no leaves are getting ready and protecting their young ones from freezing. The bulbs are hybernating so that they can grow tall when Spring comes. The bushes are just waiting for those sunny days to start blooming but all these need the winter to rest and grow and make a beautiful blossom or a shady tree or a climbing tree. I feel that sometimes we are like nature. We need times were we have to hybernate and study ourselves, see what we want to be or become, show our beauty inside and not hide what we have or what we are all about. Maybe we want to be the sun and put light into a dark area, maybe the wind to stir things up or maybe the rain to wash things away and start clean and new. Maybe we need the not so "good" days to see what is bothering us or changing in us or even growing in us that we need to take action on and make our light shine through.

All I know is that I question all the time why God is not a physical being that I can hug or share stuff with me and I can see, etc. Well silly me, why do I want that? I know He is with me all the time. When He gives us things beyond what our little minds can conceive and we take them for granted. Look around today or tonight or even tomorrow. Just see what God tells you, feel the wind and see what it stirs in your soul, feel the sun or the rain and see what He lights up or washes away. Look at a small bloom trying to grow, or just a dried up tree and see what is able to do in the spring. What about the sky, the clouds, the stars, the moon, my goodness I can keep going and we all take it for granted. He tells us, shows us and even touches us in ways we don't understand but verifies to us that He is there. Our own existence is proof. Why do our bodies work even when we mistreat them? Why do we breathe even when the wind does not blow? Why does He loves us even when we reject him? Who knows, but I am glad He is here. I only hope that we can all realize that He is as physical as we are but we need to expand our minds to understand that He is not a human being, that He is way above and beyond what we can conceive in our little minds. He is so beautiful and so creative. He creates a canvas for us everyday. He shows us in some many ways and gives us joy and hope for what is to come.
Enjoy your day admiring what God has to show you today. Even if it is not sunny, even if it is not warm but there is so much beauty to see. Enjoy it.

I love to cook!

2009-02-10T17:17:00.003-05:00

Today I was off and I have spent the day wanted to cook something yummy! Well if you know anything about me, I love to cook and I can say I do a pretty good job. I decided today, since I really don't usually have a lot of time, to cook something yummy! What to cook? This is always my dilemma! I thought I will share my recipe with you.
Although a lot of my friends like my chicken recipe, I am going to go with a Chili this time. Here the temperature is a bit cool and cloudy, a little damp; perfect Chili weather! This chili recipe I learned from a good friend of mine. I have been thinking about her a lot lately and I really miss her. She called it her Mom's Chili Recipe. It is a sweet chili and you can fix it with spaghetti or by itself. It is incredible if you like sweet chili! Enjoy!

The ingredients are:
3lbs of ground beef (prefer ground sirloin)
3 cans of tomato soup
5 tbsp of chili powder
1 tbsp of cumin (ground)
1 small onion chopped
1 green pepper chopped (optional)
2/3 cup of sugar
1 can of pinto beans (if you like beans in your chili)
**If you like you chili hot add any "heat" that you prefer

In a saucepan brown your ground beef. Then add your onions, peppers and let them cook for a few minutes until onions are translucent. Stir frequently. Add the three cans of soup and two and a half cans of water. Use the cans of soup to measure the water. Stir and add the chili powder, cumin, sugar, beans ( if you want) and any source of "heat" that you prefer at this time. Once again stir and let it cook in medium low for about 20 minutes. Stir a few times througout the 20 minutes. It is a really good recipe. It serves around 6-8 people?

I thought I would write about something I love to do and share it. Off to cook! Talk to you guys later!

Why is there a feeling of loneliness?

2009-02-08T23:24:00.000-05:00

I am so glad I have friends in my life I can call on. Although sometimes in the midst of all the commotion, running around and even all the church and work events a feeling of loneliness hits me; like I am the only one caring or existing. I know, I can call on many people but there are a few I know I can really call on. Why do we feel that way sometimes? I could be in the midst of friends, or even with love ones and I feel like I am the only one out there. Sometimes, I think that is the only way that God can get my attention because I try to talk to him when I am lonely or whatever that feeling is. I ask Him to fill my "sadness or emptiness" and to bring me "happiness". Somehow, even when I doubt, he always does. What is it that makes me go there to that lonely place with no one around? What makes me look inside and check what is going on? Obviously, I know the tools given to me to take that feeling away and recharge. But what about the people that don't know God, that don't know Jesus? What are they to do in this lonely world? Where everyone is for their own and not for others?

I know God is with me wherever I go but I have to really take time to look around. Sometimes it is hard to see his love all around me. The moon, the sun, the sky, the air I breathe, the smiles of others, a friend's hug, a blooming flower, I don't know there are so many signs and I still manage to miss them. I want to hug him, sing to him, kiss him on the cheek, cook for him, go to the movies with him, walk with him, tell him how much I love him but all I can do is tell others, love on others, hug others, walk with others, etc.

So if you are like me an feeling that "lonely" feeling or no so happy moment feeling, go hang out with someone that really cares for you, someone that died for all that you have done wrong. Take a walk and look around, take a deep breath and feel the air filling you lungs, just look at the sky and see the marvelous world He has created. He can show you His beauty in ways unimaginable. I trust that God will take my not so good feelings away but I cannot wait to share another day with Him. My only hope is that I can remember every minute of my life that He is my Joy even when I am not feeling joyous. Thank God for my friends that remind me how much they love me and remind me how much God loves me too! Thanks for sharing your time with me! Love you all.

Winter has to happen

2009-01-29T23:00:00.000-05:00

Yes we all want Spring here and now but Winter has to happen for Spring to come. The Snow and cold provides for the seeds, flowers and trees to go dormant and feed from all the water and grow into beautiful flowers, leaves and everything in between we enjoy.

So until Spring comes just stay home and hibernate! LOL!

How people can change your heart

2009-01-26T22:23:00.000-05:00

Today I had a rough day at work. I am a co-manager at a Grocery store. I am used to getting complaints, compliments and all other sorts of issues about my employees and my store. These never bother me since that is part of my job and I don't take it personal. Last night before I left, Ireceived a phone call and I realize how "evil" still exits and tries to steal our joy. A customer, was complaining about the signs in our store, which were in Spanish since we serve a large Hispanic population. We have some that are translated for the benefit of our Hispanic customers. The point I am trying to make is, this customer proceeded to scream at me in the phone with very inappropriate comments (racist and sterotypical of the Hispanic culture), I am not used to that, insults, disgrace and everything I grew up with and stand for in my culture was basically worthless. As a Hispanic woman, I was totally appalled of what she had to say. It is incredible to me how much hate this woman had in her heart and how a simple sign had made her so angry. Then I realized it was not her. Evil is out there to attack, steal and just hurt.

Although the occurences happened last night, when I went to work today it just didn't seem the same for me to be there. I was just getting by and "dragging my feet" most of the day. Later in the afternoon, I had a customer who was very friendly and needed some help getting some products and as I helped her she was smiling at me. I said "It is nice to see someone smile in this cold weather". She told me, "It is nice to see God putting people in my life smiling and helping me. You have a beautiful accent". Of course I said, "Thank you, but helping you is part of my job". She told me that God had told her to come to my store evethough she is not a regular at my store. She told me that she was glad she gad. God is so amazing! I finished my day with a big smile and a weight lifted off my shoulders. It almost seemed like she took all my negative thoughts away, the black cloud that sat over my head. She had made me forgotten why I was upset before and restore my joy for what I do and why with a simple smile and kindness you can change hearts over. I am glad that God loves me so much that he places people in my life to just make me smile and praise him.
I will definitely keep praying over the people that come in my store and ask God to bless me with people who keep me in check and show me his way. I just hope I can be that special someone for somebody else. Don't you want to be the light in the darkness? The person who changes people's heart over to HIM! Life is awesome and I am loving it!

Friends for life!

2009-01-25T23:58:00.000-05:00

I have just realize the wonderful life I have. On Saturday, January 24th, I had the opportunity to really think and analyze my life and my friendships. I have had so many wonderful people in my life that have made me who I am today. I am sure that God will put many more too. But during this past Saturday I got to share a very special moment with some very special ladies. They invited me to their circle of friends and participate in a special moment for their group. Although I was going for moral support and to photograph the awesome moments, I ended up getting closer to 7 very special ladies. I met the beautiful ladies for breakfast at Frisch's in Erlanger Kentucky. Then walked next door to Mother's Tattoo Parlor and Piercings, yes! a tattoo parlor. If any of you know me, you know I am terrified of needles and basically anything that can poke me. But on this day, I was willing to observe and take picture and share a very cool and significant moment with these wonderful sisters in Christ, as long as the poking was not on me.

When we walked in the place there was a great gentleman, Eric, missionary from Nicaragua. He was very peaceful and very gentle. His voice was even soothing. He welcomed us and Craig, the tattoo artist, was there too. I got to talk to Eric in Spanish, of course, about what he did and wehre he lived in Nicaragua. We talked about family and why he was here. Craig and Eric, who was visiting Craig, were very nice to us eventhough we were a bunch of excited ladies taking pictures and rambling on about what was going to happen next. When we got to Mother's it was a very relaxed atmosphere, almost like we were going to someone's house. It was really neat. Anyway... I'll try to stay on topic. Somehow in this wonderful place my fear of needles and "anxiety" really was almost gone. I was just as excited to be there. Then someone suggested, I think Tracy, I get a love dot. I said, "a what?". A love dot, just a little poke and you are part of the group. I said, "I'll think about it". I am thinking to myself, there is no way they are getting me tattooed today. I am not sure what happened in the next few hours while Craig was working on the designs of the tattoos that I said, "OK, I'll get a love dot." They all cheered me like I had made the biggest accomplishment in my life. As I talked about it with everyone, about where I was going to get my "big" tattoo, Kelly K suggested I get three for the Holy Trinity. I thought that was a great idea although I was thinking, it went from one poke to three. Oh well!
When the time came to get the tattoo's, Craig asked. who is first and I said, I will. He smiled and said, "Weren't you the one not getting one?" Yep, but you better do it quick or I will change my mind. So the adventure began, he drew my three love dots (Father, Son & Holy Spirit) with a marker and went to work. The first one was like a little poke and I smiled and grinned really big. The second and third were ok although I was so scared that I am not sure if I even felt the pokes. It was done just like that and I was so happy. I can honestly say, I felt so proud of my tattoo. You would have thought I had done a whole arm or something. Now I felt like I was part of a team of ladies that really mean so much to me. I feltl like part of the family. Thank you for letting me share such a special moment. I did not believe I could do it but you girls made me feel like I really belonged somewhere. Thanks for allowing me to share such a special moment with you.
My life, as I recall it, has have its ups and downs but Saturday I felt like I have had friends forever, like I was on top of the world. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I really need you guys to know how much this meant to me, even with my three love dots.

Pie Day?

2009-01-23T17:50:00.000-05:00

My friend told me today is American Pie Day. I really like pie. My favorites are Peach and Cherry although I like Apple too. Does anyone have another flavor they like? Anyone have an awesome recipe to share? The best part of pie is when the Vanilla Ice Cream is added to the side. Ok, Did I say I like pie? Anyone that can help with this craving? I can't bake at home, do not have a working oven. :)

Serving others

2009-01-20T23:27:00.000-05:00

I was watching the inaguration today, probably because it was a "historical" moment in time. I want to be able to say I watched the Inaguration of Barack Obama on TV many years from now. But as I watch and listen to some of the comments people were making and the President's speech, he was encouraging everyone to serve each other to help each other out, to work together to make a better America. Isn't that what we are doing at Vineyard Westside already? Don't we serve our communities, our life groups, each other?

For a few minutes I wondered what it would be like when everyone would take time for someone else. Really that is the America, The World, I want to be part of and belong to. I want to be able to stretch my hand to the fellow man that is in need. I also want that fellow man who was or will be helped to in turn turn around and praise God and help someone else. That is what serve each other means!
I do recognize that there is a lot of serving to do, but we need to start somewhere, why not here, in Cincinnati ? Why not be part of something that we already know how to do. Let God be the Glory and bless his people for becoming faithful servants. God is within each and everyone of us, let us be His light. Let us serve!!!!!!

What are you thinking?

2009-01-19T17:37:00.001-05:00

Not sure... What am I going to have for dinner? What should I wear to work tomorrow? How many more loads of laundry do I have to do? Am I ever going to get done with cleaning? All the things I need to get done on my day off. As you can see, So.. what are you thinking? Let me know. By the way a great recipe for meatloaf is on Pioneer woman written by Ryan, check it out, maybe dinner tonight.

Just a few minutes to ponder...

2009-01-15T12:24:00.000-05:00

As I was eating lunch before work today, I wanted to make sure I just share my few moments with God. He has blessed me so much these days and how can I ever pay him back. I already have dedicated my life to Him. I tried my best to do what He tells me although I have to admit I might not be the best one at it. I have volunteered at church and other places where I am needed. There has to be so much more, but not enough time. Work takes so much of my day. Wait a minute, that is it! Work! What can I do at work to make a difference, What can I do to change someones life or just a moment in their life to look at God as another alternative to live happily. I have always said, "Love what you do and share it with others" I have finally understood this phrase, just by smiling , loving God and talking about it is what God wants us to do. He just wants us to share in his Joy and let other ones know about it. Share His love! So, for this few minutes of pondering and thinking before work I am off to share His love at work and be me which is what God wanted me to be anyway! Love you all!

My awesome experience

2009-01-13T23:34:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to share my experience at Encounter in our church. Encounter, for those of you who don't know, is a time at church were you are given the opportunity to have a close moment or "encounter" with God. It is another way in which God communicates and loves on you. At least this is the way I see it.
This is my second time attending Encounter, my first experience was awesome. I really wanted to experience God like that again. After working all day at work on January 7th, all I wanted to do is to feel God's love embracing me and letting me know how much He loves me.

I considered myself to be a pretty "happy" person and always like to see the positive in most things in life. My main talent is positivity, but I have always carried the sadness of losing my father at the young age of 15. I always felt like he missed so much of my life and I felt like I did not get the time to know who he really was. My sadness, guilt or whatever you want to call it, made me a very emotional rollercoaster. Although, I always carried the grief with me, I could not explain at times why I was crying for no reason. I used to make little occurrances, like a reprimend from my boss or an argument with my husband, a melodrama and a tragedy. It really did not need to be. I basically used to wear my heart on my sleeve. I do have to admit I am a little more sensitive that a lot of people but the tears at times were a little too much, even for me.
When I was 15, my father died of Cancer. I was not at my house when he passed and I have always felt guilty that I never got to say goodbye. But looking back, my father prepared me for this journey way before he was sick. About 5 months before he died, when he was diagnosed, he talked to me and reassured me of how much he loved me. He made me promise that I would be a good girl and that I would become someone he could be proud of. He tried to explain that even if he was sick and could not hug me (our favorite thing to do) that he would always love me. By now you are wondering why I am telling you this...well it was not until I attended Encounter and wrote this blog that I really understood what had just happened at that moment.
At Encounter there was a moment during the service that people who were feeling guilt, shame or grief got to step forward to be prayed for. I am telling you that before the prayer was over I felt a sense of grief be lifted. It was almost like if I had lost 25 lbs automatically. My heart felt so lite and relieved. When Don Eichhorn put his hand of my shoulder and prayed over my grief it was like God had just told me everything will be ok. At the end of the evening, I was so uncertain of what I was feeling or "not" feeling that I had Don and Helen prayed over me again making sure that my grief was totally gone, WOW! It was totally gone!
I can now remember the great memories I had with my dad. I am able to remember those special moments I had with my dad when he was preparing me for what was to come. I can remember the times we laughed and hugged. I remember the times he told me how much he loved me. I really remembered!
If you have never been to Encounter, go! It changed my life. I honestly can say I am a much happier person. My life has totally changed. I have an even more positive way of thinking. My grief has not only made me happier emotionally but it changed my whole life. I have lost about 15 lbs, physically in a week and a half. I am exercising, making healthy eating decisions. I started the year as a renewed believer, God took my grief away and now I can focus on me and my relationship with my God. What else is there in life? Well the best thing is, "Love what you do and share it with others".

Love you all and thanks for giving me the opportunity to share this story with you.

Need some answers! Can anyone help?

2009-01-05T11:47:00.000-05:00

Why is it that we have free time and we waste it doing "nothing"? I was blessed with a whole weekend off from work, these are rare. I had so many things I was going to do in my house, God only knows how much it needed it, and I do nothing! I procrastinate, walk around do one or two insignificant things and then find an excuse to leave the house and never come back. I have all these plans of what I want to do in the house and then "bam" time is up and I have not even started. I have read tons of books telling me how to organize and how to get started but, Have I really follow any of their suggestions?, of course not. Am I the only one with this problem? How can we fix this? HELP!

Start fresh in 2009

2009-01-04T13:46:00.000-05:00

What a week? Finished with Christmas shopping, open presents, all the family gatherings and then New Year's eve! Wow! I worked all morning but my thoughts were somewhere else. I could not wait until the baptisms started. After watching the baptism video at church on Sunday, I was debating if I really had to do it. I kept talking myself out of it. I had been baptized before and I know it was significant, but my walk with God had grown so much in the past 3 years that I felt like I had to start over and tell the world how much my life had changed. Why now? Because I want the 2009 year to be one of great growth and excitement in my life and the life of others. We saw so much suffering during 2008 and I want to make sure I am part of the change for 2009.

Growing up, I have always believed in God. My life experiences were not always positive but somehow I always got through them and God always bless me, even when I did not necessarily gave him the credit. I decided a couple of hours before church that I was going to bring extra clothes with me just in case I would do it. When I arrived at church I started to cry, I was so nervous, I was telling myself that God had already blessed me and I did nto need to tell him. My insecurities where getting the best of me. I asked to talk to Tim, our pastor, and help me understand if this was what I needed to do. He talked to me and told me to listen for God's word and when the time came to step forward to do it if it was of Him. Well, after much crying and struggling, I did! I walked with the rest of the people in the back of the church waiting for our time to get dunked. As we walked back in the church, my anxiousness went away and a sense of peace came over me. I was so happy to be part of such a remarkable group of people that were ready to commit their lives to the One who had sent His only son to save us. All I really needed to do is to tell the world how I felt and show it. So I did! After a much exciting and intense wait, I stepped in. My friend and sis in Christ prayed for me along with all the other family members of my life group and church. Tim was there too. The best part is that Jon Price and band were singing the song "Tell the world that" which is perfect for what I was about to do. So my friends, I am telling the world, my life belongs to Jesus and I am sharing it with others. Thanks for those of you who took part of witnessing me telling the world. Peace!

What a week!

2008-12-10T23:18:00.000-05:00

Today was my first day off for the past two weeks. We had a Grand Opening at work and it was crazy long hours all thoughout last 2 weeks. Although still working a lot, it has calm down enough to be able to take a day off. I did not realized how much I really needed time for me.

I don't know about you but I love to be with people. I guess I grew up being by myself for a few years before my siblings came along almost 6 years later. I played by myself for a long time and now I can't be alone without the company of others. I don't necessarily need to be talking or even know them I just need the presence of a physical body near me. Is that weird? Every once in a while I like the quiet time for me and God but it usually does not last a long time. Is that wrong? I might sit and talk to Him and then I will sing or play some music. It is so hard to just listen at times when there is so much going around you and your head is full of things to do for the day. I was wondering if anyone outthere felt the same way. As I learn how important it is to communicate with God, I realized how little time or how low in the priority list He falls on. Why is life so busy? I almost have to schedule him in like an appointment. Am I not being a good follower of Jesus?

I love to worship, help others and sacrifice my personal time for God. Is that enough? Is that where my talents and gifts are to be used? I have so many questions for God and I feel I get a few answers and I don't know how to listen for the rest of the responses. Are we at a stage where we listen to what we want to hear?

I love what I do in my job and I love the church I attend and I love to offer my gifts for God to use. I only hope that I am really listening to Him and not my personal ego. There is so much we can do and sometimes feel limited because of time constraints. Something I learned this weekend is that Life is about loving people no matter what. Is about sharing life with everyone even if you agree to disagree. That is what makes us loving, when we can pour our hearts and still have plenty of love to share more. God is just loving us no matter what stage in life we are in, the goal is to learn how to share yours.

Wow! I thought I only had a few words. Guess God had more for me to share! Love you all!

Today

2008-11-21T00:04:00.000-05:00

I decided to post a blog today. I figure I needed to talk to someone and since I am somewhat busy during normal hours, this would be a good way to talk to some of my friends without having to wake them up too early or too late. I decided to call my blog Loving Life. Although at times I have not felt as "loving" towards my spiritual walk I realized part of it is that I don't give God enough time for him to share with me.